"I didn't think you were going to make it today." Why?" Akaashi shoved his visitor lightly. I know that you know that, too And yet you still stick by me.". He rubbed his hands together weakly and tilted his head to the side. btw, HERES THE DISCORD SERVER!! His voice was gentle, light on Bokuto's ears. This might be confusing, but that's immediately what I thought. You like volleyball too?! "Well, I'll be going now.". He dreamt of how Bokuto had buried himself into the navy blue blanket to watch the movie that played on the laptop screen, and how he held Bokuto in his arms that night to aid him in his attempt to sleep. Akaashi felt that his words were a bit bitter, but he had no other way of telling Bokuto the truth. He instead continued to stare in Akaashi's direction with hopeful eyes. As Akaashi lay there, quiet, listening to Bokuto's strained breathing, he opened his mouth to speak. You need to be protected.". Akaashi's face buried into the crook of his neck. I think the window will be as far as we can go." It's Akaashi. Surely enough, snow was falling, and in chunks too, but this did not grasp Bokuto's attention. The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write. Akaashi laced his fingers together and dug his nails into the backs of his hands. Keep it cool. His head rested against the bed, slumped to the side, facing away from Akaashi. Bokuto doesn't do well with those", "Ah" Kuroo looked at the ceiling, as if he would be able to see the clouds from there. He sighed his response with a grin. "May I ask your name?" It felt strange, not falling asleep against Bokuto's body, but Akaashi knew that he would have to get used to this form of sleeping by his lonesome once again. "My parents are out for a month," he'd unconsciously said, causing Bokuto to go into a begging frenzy to stay over until Akaashi said yes. "All of this is so- ugh. "Just breathe with me.". To this, Bokuto's arm fell and rested lightly on his stomach. "So we were going to step outside for a minute or two in order to get this owl to shut up.". "" Bokuto looked up to stare out the window again. I loved this. Akaashi stepped to the side. Another sigh was forced out, even heavier this time. Akaashi realized that those smiles he'd seen before were smiles of denial forced grins that tried desperately to trick Bokuto into thinking that everything would be fine. Akaashi pulled his arms in close, wrapping the sheets around himself. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Both hands had clasped around Bokuto's own now, quavering without pause. Akaashi spoke in a calm, slow voice. He reached his arm out and held his phone in front of Bokuto for him to type. Akaashi? Bokuto stared at Akaashi, his features having gone from disappointed to unaccepting. Bokuto followed, his arm still around him. "Let's just go.". That's how much he supposedly weighs now? Akaashi's phone vibrated against his forehead. "I miss you guys. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. It took a moment for Bokuto to focus on him. "The gymnasium's about ten minutes that way." He didn't want to be the one to say no to someone who had little to nothing left in his life. "No, no, no, no-" He pulled away from the windowsill and ran out of his room, straight downstairs and to the front door. "I told you I would" He all but murmured against Bokuto's shoulder. His voice was full of excitement as he proceeded to enter the name for his new contact. "Don't do that." "My room is this way.". The disappointment in his voice was clear. He pressed send and watched the phone carefully, waiting for the small ellipses to appear on the lower left side of the screen. He wanted nothing to do with it. Bokuto had always been struggling to keep a positive front, but inside, he was falling apart all along. Kuroo? Standing at the side of Bokuto's bed, Akaashi glanced to the open door that led to the hallway. He twisted his body to reach for the box of Pocky that sat on the counter. to watch kuroo slowly die was a kind of pain i didn't know existed. i felt sad abt it, im jus really confused at the ending, like was it a dream, hallucination, afterlife,etc? 61.7K 2.6K 3.9K. ", Bokuto looked over at the phone screen. His golden eyes searched the room for Akaashi. For example, I've actually never cried over a manga/anime/book because that's just how I am, but I still say that I cried because that's how I felt at the time even though I didn't literally and physically cry. I haven't gone outside in days." I was so weak, and it'd gotten to the point where I could barely breath. Sometimes when I blink you aren't there anymore" Bokuto rubbed one of his eyes, then the other, and let his hand drop to his sides. He said in a hushed voice. "I don't Know much about this Disease. They were fingers. I've realized that I don't want to come here anymore. Without hesitation, he ran across the court to retrieve the ball. Not me llorando a la 1am por culpa de esto. Akaashi beckoned for his visitor. He pushed the laptop away and pressed play. Forcing a smile of his own, Akaashi tilted his head only slightly. Akaashi lifted himself onto his elbows. He had to force himself to say the mere four words. Akaashi cocked his head back to demonstrate this, with his finger tapping his chin. Weakly, Akaashi parted his lips. "Do you still think that you are the best?" His heart beat a mile a minute, he found it difficult to swallow, and one of his legs bounced up and down rapidly. A gasp escaped Bokuto. Having been neck deep in his own sorrows, Kuroo was blind to Akaashi's. Slowly, his yellow eyes scrolled to the side to catch Akaashi's gaze. It's a little too late for that, Bokuto." Relaxing his head against the crook of Bokuto's neck, Akaashi blinked wearily and stared off into the distance. He circled around the male, apologizing flatly before he continued on. I don't want to read them. Emerald eyes searched Bokuto's own for an honest answer. He reached a hand out to turn on the lamp that sat on his nightstand. Akaashi's eyes widened, his emotions now falling victim to a strange mix of fear and fury. They settled there, deeming Bokuto one of them for the remainder of their frozen lives before they eventually melted or fell away. Kuroo spoke to him, and Akaashi listened and often responded. In another life. He would study them for quite a while until they melted and left behind nothing more than a droplet on his arm. i dont normally include fanfics but i read this one months ago and every time i remember it, i sob uncontrollably so i felt like it deserved a place on my profile, T-T. Is it weird to say that this is my comfort fic?? It was the last word Kuroo murmured before he stared forward as well, having nothing more to say. Once he saw this, Kenma picked himself up from his seat, put his hands at his side, and bowed his head. My friend is." He remained in place silently. "Yes?" Slipping his head down to Bokuto's chest, Akaashi leaned against his frail frame. Obeying with hesitance, Bokuto shifted towards Akaashi and lay against him, fitting into the curve of his arm. He leaned his chin against the palm of his hand and chortled. I knew this was the most notorious/popular fic in the Haikyuu!! Not after this. Confused, Bokuto glanced over at him. He re-read 'Sleep well, Akaashi!' Akaashi sat up straight and composed himself. ", "I do, but I don't want to watch it. Quietly, he contemplated on whether he wanted to respond or not. Pursing his lips timidly, Akaashi ceased to speak. "Why are you so fond of the snow, Bokuto?". Akaashi paused for a long moment and said nothing for a while. In a matter of minutes, just as Akaashi had started to fidget, Bokuto spoke up. He knew full well the name of the disease he had. Loud, though.". It was then that Bokuto's eyes blinked in realization, and slowly but surely, he moved his lips to answer. And remember, you're the best." Akaashi's eyebrows knit together. Bokuto would wince and snap back to reality the way someone would when they dreamt they were falling. "Don't be sorry." I mean, will they let you out of the hospital? "I Don't Usually text," Akaashi murmured. Akaashi hesitated. Apathy-kun. littleluxray's writing style is absolutely amazing and i can see why several people love this. Bokuto nodded and looked up at Akaashi once again. But as each second passed, Akaashi could feel his own pain building up more and more within him. "And nothing you say will make me leave.". Bokuto replied, lifting his head. He pulled and tugged at them restlessly. Akaashi eyeballed the small male for a long second, knowing that he wouldn't look up to catch him. Bokuto's head lolled to the side, directing his attention back to the movie. He looked up and grinned, and waved wildly in Akaashi's direction. People keep saying they cried at the ending but i'm just here dry eyed. He sighed. ], [Are you calming down? It wasn't until Akaashi looked up from his laptop screen that he realized it was snowing heavily outside. Akaashi dragged a hand down his face. I've seen enough." "You were out for about an hour.". He touched his forehead to Bokuto's shoulder, which only earned a laugh from him. He studied the back of Bokuto's head, eying the messy strands of black and white hair that overlapped each other. "So I guess I am pretty good at being funny. Why the hell did this have to happen to him? Akaashi, don't give him a hard time, or you and I are going to fucking fight.". No!" It seemed more along the lines of an act of affection, or at least as affectionate as Kenma could get, which wasn't much. Bokuto had nothing more to say after that. Kuroo scratched the back of his head. Thank you, Koutarou, for talking to me me in the hall that day And asking me if I was alright. Because I wasn't, then. "Is there something wrong with me standing here?" Silently and almost in fascination, Bokuto stared at Akaashi once again, longer this time before he looked up, then down, then away. I know a gymnasium we can go to], [Is that too long a wait? Akaashi watched curiously as Bokuto's lips quivered into a wide grin, and as the light captured his features, Akaashi realized just how embarrassed Bokuto actually was. Guilt bubbled up within Akaashi's chest. That was, until he saw a familiar face. what disease did, bokuto have in another lifeturkish airlines flight 981 victims. [Yeah! Akaashi is a former intern in this hospital, and he loaths it. He smoothed his thumb over Bokuto's knuckles. Akaashi figured he should stay quiet too. Akaashi paused and gripped the strap of his bag. A puff of smoke came from him as he exhaled. As Bokuto backed away from the window, Akaashi was quick to close it, locking the bitter night air out of the room for the remainder of the night. He had probably lost a bit overtwenty pounds in the two months that passed. Akaashi glanced in the direction of where Bokuto was staring. Akaashi's parents were intent on having him intern in a hospital nearby, so that he could stockpile more things that would look . Ain't that the horror of it all" He rubbed his chin and stalked his way down the hall. Been here for about Four weeks now." "No. He watched as Bokuto's chest rose and fell with each breath that kept him alive. My face was the only thing sticking out." Whenever we did, Kuroo and Bokuto would meet up afterwards and spend time together. He whispered the words. The words echoed in Akaashi's head, as if they'd been spoken aloud. "Would you like for him to send a photo?". Akaashi rubbed the back of his neck hastily and closed his eyes. I know Im asking for spoilers but I still want to know the anticipation is killing me! He reached a hand out and touched Bokuto's forehead. In minutes, the information desk was in his sights, and for the first time in forever, he'd actually gone to it. He looked around. Bokuto has round, golden-colored eyes and spiky white-grey hair with black streaks; certain sections of it are done up as if to vaguely conform to that of an animal, strongly amplifying the uncanny resemblance he bears to a horned owl. His head hung low, and his attention belonged only to the handheld system that entertained him. He used to be thicker. "He's here? Akaashi lifted his head from his pillow and reached a hand out to grab his phone. Eventually, Bokuto drew back his hand and let it fall to his side. Hesitant fingers that ghosted over Akaashi's forehead in order to push a loose strand of hair away. It was cold and shook in short bursts. Normally, Akaashi would have walked away that instant in order to pay Bokuto a visit, but as he neared his room, he could hear two voices coming from within. by postingAO3stories. Ridiculous." Why do I let him do this? He smelled sort of like a hospital. His laughter died down along with Akaashi's. ], [No, he can't. But instead, he was greeted with nothing. Akaashi's grip tightened around his phone. But as he thought of it, as he narrowed down the true meanings of both phrases, he ultimately could not decide which of the two were more horrifying. "There's something about Bokuto that doesn't sit well with me. Looking back to Bokuto, he was relieved to see that he still had his attention on the window. Bokuto stared off in the distance from beyond the net, his face carrying a confused expression. Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition. "Yeah, but for all the wrong reasons." He felt the need to keep most of his questions at bay. A mere two minutes outside had turned into two hours. DID is usually caused by past trauma. He only looked like a tall, thin, black mass now as he stood near the stairway. He zipped his jacket up to shield himself from the harsh winds that came his way and advanced forward. They are my favorite ship in Haikyuu, so typing this makes little to no sense to me. Akaashi stood from his seat and walked to the windowsill. "I barely ever see it." All I have to say is that this fucking broke me. The other spoke in a quiet voice, low and brooding. It seemed that, after finally hearing his pent up thoughts aloud, they had frayed his nerves more than he thought they would. You don't have to say it now if you don't want to.". Things could be worse. His hand held onto one of Bokuto's very thin arms, and his thumb would occasionally rub up and down to comfort him. Akaashi felt his heart sink to his stomach. Akaashi shifted, leaning in the direction of where he'd come from. The day was exceptionally cold, but Akaashi was glad to know that the hospital's room provided enough heat to keep Bokuto from freezing over. He did the only thing that he could and nodded again, then closed his eyes, and slightly turned his head away. He held it in his shaking hands and closed his eyes in an attempt to try and find sleep again. One of the voices belonged to Bokuto. He kept his weary yellow eyes on Akaashi, waiting for him to nod. Tired, but awake. I don't think I've ever heard you laugh, or seen you smile for that matter. He didn't care. He continued to stare on as he talked. "Fatal Familial Insomnia? Akaashi frowned. Akaashi entered his room and shut the door behind Bokuto. ", Bokuto pulled away to face his smirking friend. Thick, white eyebrows raised above yellow hues. His thumb aimlessly hovered over the keyboard, thinking of what to type. Akaashi said his name, and to this, Bokuto stirred awake. It squeezed him, threatening to crush him from the inside out. He knew that once they found out, they would take Bokuto away from him. Akaashi cast a weary look in Bokuto's direction, gave a nod, and continued on his way until he was out of the building. Akaashi sighed. Bokuto's words haunted him, and they repeated themselves over and over in his mind. "I thought you were waiting for the snow. Trying so hard to fit in that small amount of sleep that would get him through the next day, and Akaashi wanted to help. Akaashi leaned over in his seat to move himself closer to Bokuto. I can't Sl..eep. "You can sit anywhere." He lay his cheek on the top of Akaashi's head and kept still, daring not to wake him. With his hand clinging to his neck, he slowly looked up to find that Akaashi was staring back at him with vacant eyes, void of all known emotion. He glared at them intensely with that same placid expression of his, making this look all the more unnerving. Akaashi almost smiled back, and he would have, too, if it hadn't been for the thunder that sounded its arrival from above. If he had known that sending simple text messages would have turned into daily hospital visits, then he would have never handed over his cell number. Kuroo bid Bokuto farewell for the time being, while Kenma made his way downstairs to exit the building. Akaashi inhaled quietly. Curiosity had sparked within him. He stared at Bokuto with his lips parted, as if he were going to speak, but ended up speechless. Akaashi managed the faintest of smiles. He then tossed it to Bokuto once he was close enough. "Stop trying to act like this isn't such a big deal You may not think it is, but I" He paused and reached his arms out to get in another shove. He was much like Akaashi, sitting on the same side of the bed, a good distance apart from his visitor. They shared each other's company in silence for what felt like the length of five minutes, and in that time, Akaashi never once looked to the side to catch a glimpse at Kuroo. A hand reached up to push through his own messy locks. His frustration slowly faded, and all that was left behind upon his pale face was a look of defeat. Bokuto's hands were as cold as ice, causing Akaashi's concern in him to grow even more. Again, if he hadn't known any better, Akaashi would have figured that Bokuto was already fast asleep. "Give me a break here." It was cold. He could still remember the small details, like how Bokuto's starry shirt would slip off his shoulder every so often when he stirred in bed, and how the feel of Bokuto's weight on him would take his breath away. Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. He made his way up the same path, walking swiftly and without pause. Please play on the highest quality possibleToday, February 3, Bokuto Koutarou's death anniversary.This edit is just based on the fanfic, so don't worry, Boku. This includes Bokuto and Akaashi, as you already may know. Is he here?". He wanted nothing more than to push him away, throw away the forms, and never set foot into that hospital again, but for some strange and irritating reason, Akaashi found it difficult to deny Bokuto. This time, a weak sound left Bokuto's throat through a closed mouth, and he nodded. ], [I know! "Koutarou Why do you watch me like that?" I can.. B-arely speak. (See the end of the work for more notes.). He hesitated for a moment, but finally spoke up. Akaashi didn't even have to see his face to know that Bokuto was beaming. Akaashi found himself laughing along with him. His hands showed what his face dared not. He felt as if all the air had been squeezed out of his body by the words that Bokuto had spoken. He directed his attention to a grinning Bokuto who eagerly sat up in bed. Akaashi could feel a weak, ailing arm pull itself up to rest upon his shoulder. His eyes lighting up, Bokuto straightened his back and fished his hand into his pocket. He ascended the steps to his room, balled his no Bokuto's blanket up into a lump, and dropped it onto his bed along with the scarf. However, he is initially listless and pessimistic about his operation, as he has no will to live, thinking . Akaashi was dumbfounded. But no matter how much he worried for him, Akaashi continued on their way to the window at a slow and steady pace until they finally made it. A sob wretched its way out from Akaashi's throat. The light that came from outside reflected off of Bokuto's teardrops, lighting his face up in the most gentle of ways. I'll see you soon.]. "Relax." Or maybe January? Bokuto's automatic reaction to the warmth was to curl his fingers around Akaashi's grasp. It made Akaashi pity him, to say the least. Because of that fact that this is set in a world where Bokuto and Akaashi haven't met, you get to read their realationship develop, and honsesty it only makes it that much more painful to read. "Of course. The sound of rain pelting hard against the window snapped Akaashi back into reality. Another breath escaped him, slow and casual, but he'd soon learned to hold his breath when he noticed another person sitting outside in the hall, several feet from the room, where visitors could spend their time. "Please, it will only take a second. Don't you have it in your laptop? I won't let you go. A stronger laugh broke out from him, rattling his body as he lay down in bed. ", Akaashi scratched his head. Where most people would detach themselves, Bokuto took hold and wouldn't let go, being as persistent as he was energetic. "Is there something wrong with him? But Akaashi now couldn't find it in himself to sleep. He stalked over to the other side of the bed, where he would be able to look at Bokuto's face. The black haired male looked up from his hands. But sometimes, he wouldn't answer certain questions, despite Akaashi asking them twice. This was his way of saying he was feeling alright. The other, he had no clue. Bokuto stared at Akaashi sharply. Akaashi couldn't sleep, but it wasn't because of his unfamiliarity with Bokuto that caused this. At times, Bokuto would do nothing but lie there in bed, twitching back awake whenever his body tried so desperately to fall into the sleeping state that it once knew. "I just came from there. His green eyes then fell to study his paling skin; his veins were easily noticeable now, and they bulged from beneath his flesh whenever he moved. If you watched Haikyuu, and anime, I would definitely recommend this ebook.